


Don't Go Breaking My Harp

by LaurelNymph



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Canon Universe, Future Fic, M/M, canonverse ereri week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-07
Updated: 2015-09-12
Packaged: 2018-04-19 12:37:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4746716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaurelNymph/pseuds/LaurelNymph
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As they're cleaning up Shiganshina three years after Eren Jaeger joins the Survey Corps, the discovery of a lost harp will bring Eren and Levi closer together than they could have ever imagined.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First Impressions

They were cleaning up the wreckage of Shiganshina when it happened. A loud cry echoed off the remaining walls, “Hey, look what I found!”

Levi turned toward Eren’s shout, surprised to see a familiar item from his childhood clutched in Eren’s hands. His first impression of the scene was that Eren looked pretty foolish, holding up the harp he’d found like he was trying to hold a lute. The second impression was a spine-chilling shiver as Eren plucked the strings curiously.

“Stop!” he ordered, wishing he was close enough to push Eren’s fingers away from the strings. “That fucking thing is so out-of-tune it isn’t even funny.”

“Yeah!” Sasha agreed. “It sounds like a cat in heat being beaten with another cat in heat!”

That was why Sasha was one of his favorites, despite her sticky fingers. Literally sticky fingers because she was always breaking into the honey he kept for tea, the brat.But she was an excellent Titan slayer and she was good with zingers when she tried.

“Tune it for me?” Eren asked, turning pleading eyes toward Sasha. It made sense to ask her for help. As far as Levi knew, she was the only other Corps member who could play any kind of instrument (or admitted she could). She and her fiddle were the only ones who stood up to play after dinner, with occasional washboard solos via Connie.

“If I tune it can I have your bread ration for the week?” Sasha asked, eyes practically sparkling with the idea. She licked her lips eagerly.

“Sure,” Eren agreed.

“I didn’t know you could play the harp,” Mikasa said, trying to hide a frown behind a new scarf.

“He can’t,” Jean scoffed.

“Well I’m gonna learn!” Eren insisted. “Help me lift this thing.”

Jean stepped forward but Mikasa beat him to it, lifting the harp easily with one hand. Nostalgia swept through Levi while he watched the instrument go into the storage carts where the salvageable items the Survey Corps were finding in Shiganshina were going now that the Titans had been flushed out of Wall Maria. If asking for the harp wouldn’t have made everyone realize he could play it, he would have. Oh well. Levi had probably didn’t remember shit about harp music. It was probably better off with Eren. Once his comrades left his sight Levi tried to forget about it.

* * *

It wasn't until a few days later that Levi was forced to think about the thing again. Back at headquarters, he had a fresh load of clothes to hang on the line when he passed Eren beating the crap out of the rugs he’d been assigned to clean. Dust and shit flew everywhere from the force of Eren's whacking. Levi stood back a safe distance from the flying gunk when he asked, “Are you trying to beat holes in all the Survey Corps' rugs?"

Eren stopped hitting the rugs, but he still looked royally pissed when he did. The redness in Eren’s cheeks begged the question, “So what crawled up your ass and died?”

“Sasha took my bread ration even though she has no idea how to tune a harp! It sounds just as bad as it did before.”

It was a struggle not to chuckle at the cute way Eren’s lower lip jutted out in a bratty pout. Somehow Levi managed it and said, “You can’t pay until you’ve gotten the goods, I thought I taught you better than that.”

Eren’s shoulders slumped. He sighed, then starting beating the rugs more gently as he said, "I guess I should have expected a harp would be too different from a fiddle for Sasha to do anything. But she didn't need to take my bread.”

Now that dirt wasn’t in danger of flying into his eyes or, God forbid, his mouth, Levi stepped closer to Eren to get to the clothesline a few meters away. As he started to clip a cravat on the line, he couldn’t help but wonder about the harp. Out of curiosity, he asked, "What are you gonna do with your shitty harp now?”

"Give it away I guess," Eren shrugged, disappointment written all over his face. "It would have been nice to learn to play it, I could have figured out how eventually. But I can’t afford to get someone to tune it for me. I bet all the harp tuners are in Sina anyway."

All except one.

Levi couldn’t believe he was considering this, but he was pretty sure he still knew how. He _could_ tune the thing if he wanted to and he was about a step away from offering. It did not help that Levi had a soft spot bigger than a Titan’s ass for his favorite squad mate. He clipped a sheet to the line before he decided.

"Where'd you leave it?"

"Hmm?"

"The harp."

"It's still in my room," Eren answered.

Levi had a feeling he’d end up regretting this, and yet he still said, "I'll tune it for you if you don’t tell anyone.”

Levi didn’t even have to turn away from hanging laundry to know that Eren’s eyes were bugging out. He could hear it in his voice when he stuttered out, "Captain Levi, you can _play the harp?_ "

Even though he _knew_ Eren would be making a horrible face, Levi turned around anyway. And that incredulous look right there like no one could possibly imagine Humanity’s Strongest doing something like play an instrument was the very reason he told no one. Fuck it, he’d already said he could do it. Backing out now would be cruel.

"It's been years, so I can't guarantee it'll be good but I'll tune it."

"Thank you, Captain Levi!" Eren said. He smiled, a sweet look taking over his face. Something about that look made Levi’s breath quicken. He wanted to see more of it, Eren deserved happiness after the hell that had been the last eight years for the man.

"Hell, I can teach you how to play if you want," Levi offered.

What. He hadn’t meant to say that.

"You'd really do that for me?" Eren said, eyes brimming with sparkles.

Maybe it would even be fun to sit down at a harp again. Levi hadn’t had time for hobbies or fun shit literally for years. It would be nice to do something that didn’t include Titans for once. He’d sort of wanted that anyway when Eren had first unearthed the thing. And because he really couldn’t back out now, Levi said, "Sure."

"Thank you! Is there anything I can do in return?" Eren asked. "I can't give you my bread though, Sasha already stole it.”

"I don't need bread, but you can stop beating a hole through that rug before I have to replace it with your hide."

* * *

Levi met Eren, as agreed, in his room after dinner. Eren opened the door, looking nervous and oddly bashful. Levi decided to ignore the weird look on his face. He didn’t see what Eren had to be embarrassed about, his room was clean.

Maybe he was just constipated. It happened to the best of them.

Levi picked up the harp and asked Eren to, “Hand me that chair.”

Eren grabbed the chair from his desk and brought it over to Levi, positioning it behind him so that he could sit. Eren’s hands were still on the back of the chair making Levi feel like some delicate lady from Sina having her chair pulled out for her. With a harp positioned between his legs he probably looked like one too.

“Lock the door, Eren.”

While Eren went to go do that, Levi ran his hands over the strings to try to figure out just how shitty this was. It wasn’t impossible to fix it though, even if some of the harp strings were missing. After settling the instrument against his chest Levi got started. Eren sat down at the foot of his bed to watch Levi twist the peg while plucking the same string until it sounded like it was finally in tune. Eren jumped when Levi moved onto the next string, unbearably sharp tones ringing through the room.

“Crap, I didn’t realize how bad it sounded until I heard the tuned part,” Eren commented. Thank fuck, he wasn’t tone deaf. That would make this a lot easier.

“Well, it’s been buried under shit in Shiganshina for eight years now,” Levi reminded him. Actually, it was incredible that it still worked at all. Eren stayed quiet while Levi painstakingly tuned all the surviving strings. After the last one was fixed he straightened up and said, “Well, you’re missing a shit-ton of strings but it sounds okay now.”

He ran his fingers over the strings to prove it, amazed that he still remembered some of the simple scales. Muscle memory was a thing to marvel at. Levi was proud of the chorus of tuned notes that spilled forth. Eren looked awestruck.

“That’s amazing Captain Levi!” he gushed. “Where did you learn to do that?”

And _there_ was the exact question he’d hid his harp-playing abilities to avoid.

“I learned it as a child,” Levi answered before standing up. “Sit your ass down, you wanted to learn to play, didn’t you?”

Eren still looked curious, but thankfully he was smart enough to just drop it. After he took Levi’s seat Levi carefully positioned the harp in Eren’s lap. He considered standing to teach Eren but his old bones got achy too fast these days. Fuck, he was getting old. Now a day of work left his joints throbbing with pain and reminded him that his body was starting to crap out on him.

Instead of standing Levi opted to sit on Eren’s bed. The gasp that Eren made surprised Levi. It was odder still when Eren turned bright red and refused to meet his gaze.

Suspicions rising, Levi narrowed his eyes and demanded to know, “When was the last time you washed your sheets?”

Eren swallowed hard before saying, “Last week.”

That wasn’t too bad. Still, “Wash them tomorrow.”

“Yes sir.”

“So where your thumb is right now, pluck that string,” Levi ordered. Eren brushed his thumb against the string. A faint tone came out, blessedly tuned. “That one right there is called middle C. That’s gonna be the base for all the scales I’m gonna teach you. Remember that.”

“I will!” Eren insisted. That determined look of his came over his face as he stared at the string.

“And pluck harder, believe me even though those strings are shitty they won’t snap.”

Even he’d never managed that, and Levi was pretty heavy-handed given the work he’d done, not to mention his surname. Eren pulled the string harder the second time, the sound much louder and clearer than before.

This time Levi noticed something, shook his head, and held his hand out, demonstrating, “Don’t pluck with the tips of your fingers like this or you’re gonna get tired as hell fast. Use your knuckles and the whole finger to pluck.”

Eren tried again.

“Better. So the first scale…”

* * *

The candle Eren had lit on his desk for their lesson had nearly burnt down before Eren admitted that his fingers were too sore to keep playing.

“You’re not going to become a harpist overnight, let’s quit for now,” Levi agreed. “We’ll pick this up again later.”

“Thanks again, Captain Le _vi_ ,” Eren said. The thanks trailed off into some kind of squawk while Levi stretched.

“You okay?”

“Fine! Just, thanks.”

“Don’t mention it,” Levi replied. “Practice those scales.”

“I will!” Eren cried out. That was a nice earnest look on his face. Maybe Levi was wrong about thinking he’d regret this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They found a medieval harp, which is much smaller than a pedal harp. I am not a harpist so any harp mistakes should definitely be pointed out to me so I can fix them.


	2. Cleaning Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren requests extra help with the harp.

The best part of their weekly designated cleaning days was always looking over the sparkling fresh headquarters and knowing that they’d done fine work getting all the shit cleaned. Second best was relaxing when it was all over with a cup of tea. As Eren was pouring him freshly-brewed Reeves tea, Levi couldn’t help but notice the bandages wrapped around the tips of his fingers. He remembered those days before his own harpist calluses had formed.

“So how’s the harp going?” Levi felt compelled to ask. Another good part of cleaning days was getting to simply talk to your comrades. Whizzing around on the gear wasn’t usually conducive to conversation.

“It’s good, sir!” Eren said cheerfully. He set down the teapot and flexed his fingers. “My fingers are pretty sore though.”

“It’ll get easier once those turn into calluses,” he told Eren.

“Oh, like with using the 3DMG?” Eren said. Levi nodded and took a sip of his tea. No one could compare to the skills Petra had had when they made tea, but Eren came close. He was still standing there, something clearly on the tip of his tongue. But instead of speaking up, Eren just fidgeted, shifting from one foot to another.

“Need to take a dump?” Levi asked. Eren looked confused. “Or is that little dance because you need to piss?”

Eren made a sort of sound like he was trying to repress laughter when he insisted, “No. But Captain Levi, I did want to ask if there’s any more you can teach me about the harp. I’ve learned all the scales you taught me.”

Pride filled his chest at the realization that Eren had mastered what he’d taught him. Of course, that was pretty damn normal when it came to Eren and his ability to absorb literally anything you tried to teach him. He was a talented soldier so it wasn’t surprising at all how he’d gotten perfect the little bit of harping Levi knew. Continuing that education was something Levi didn’t mind at all, but there was a small problem.

“I could,” he said cautiously. “But I need time. I haven’t played in years. I don’t remember shit about the songs I used to know.”

“You could borrow the harp all you want, Captain Levi!” Eren said. “It’s the least I can do for you after all you’ve done for me.”

“I kicked you in the face, bartered you off to Reeves for tea, and ran you ragged through training,” Levi reminded him, confused about what Eren meant. Eren flushed.

“You saved my life about half a dozen times and you’re always encouraging me to make my own decisions. That’s amazing, Captain. No one else does that.”

Levi swallowed. Being praised for something other than killing felt fucking _odd_. It felt good.

“ _Eren,_ y _ou’re a weird man_ ,” he thought. He didn’t say that out loud though. What Levi said to him was, “If you don’t mind having me as a teacher, I’ll try.”

Eren almost looked more thrilled than the first time they’d gotten all the way to the ocean. And he’d looked pretty damn happy that day. He’d cried for fuck’s sake. Good lord, Eren must have _really_ liked that harp. He looked so eager when he asked, “Do you want me to bring the harp to your room, Captain Levi?”

“No, it’ll be a pain if everyone finds out. Just leave it in your room, I’ll come by.”

Eren looked surprisingly thrilled by that, too. Levi supposed he’d be grateful too if he didn’t have to lug a harp all the way to the officer’s quarters. It wasn’t the sort of big-ass harp that was taller than a person, but it was still larger than was comfortable to carry around.

“You can come around any time you want,” Eren said. Levi was a little surprised Eren didn’t say to let him know first. With that face there was no way the other man didn’t occasionally entertain in his room.

“I’ll let you know,” Levi said. Even if Eren wasn’t going to think of it, the potential awkwardness was something Levi could easily anticipate. “I don’t have much to do today, I’ll come by tonight.”

* * *

What Levi hadn’t anticipated was just how fucking _frustrated_ he would feel trying to remember how to play songs he could once play with his eyes closed. He remembered the words to the song he was trying to play; Kuchel had sung it to him all the time. It was putting his fingers on the right strings and plucking them in the right order that was the hard part. Levi had to hum the melody, trying to place the notes right. It was an absolute bitch to get just one line down. But when he did, the feeling of satisfaction was immense.

“That sounds beautiful, Captain,” Eren breathed. He’d been sitting on his bed watching the whole process curiously with a dreamy look on his face.

“Wait until I remember the whole thing,” Levi said. He started on the second line of the song. “I’ll teach it to you.”

* * *

That was the start of many sleepless nights spent in Eren’s room. Levi would tell Eren during the day when he felt like practicing and come to his room after dinner. Eren must have been damn passionate about learning the harp, because he stuck around every time to watch, even though Levi was sure he’d have more fun going off with his friends instead of watching him pluck strings out of key until he’d figured out the next set of notes. Whatever. As long as Eren was happy.

Even with Eren hanging around asking questions, after a while Levi had managed to remember the whole song. A little more practice and he could play it through (though the missing strings made it sound a little off). Eren was in complete awe. Levi could see him practically squirming where he was sitting on the bed.

“Keep your pants on, I’ll teach it to you soon,” Levi promised. “We can start now if you’re going to be so damn impatient.”

How could Eren look so excited by that? Well, that happy look on his face was far better than the desperate loneliness and guilt that had once plagued him. It was a relief at how long it had been since Eren had looked that miserable, before they’d made it to the basement. Stepping up to make way for the other man to use the harp, Levi felt glad he’d decided to open this part of himself to Eren. God knew just how fucking bad the man needed happiness. It was nice to be able to bring him a little bit of joy.

“All right, sit down. Let’s do this.”

Eren threw himself into the chair and took the harp up excitedly. Levi told him the notes, tried to teach him the order. Occasionally he had to lean over Eren’s body to pluck the right string for him.

After a while, Levi noticed that Eren practically leaning slightly away from him while playing.

“Sit up straight,” Levi said before curling his arm around Eren’s warm waist. He pulled a little to make him sit properly. An unearthly shriek left Eren’s mouth. Levi dropped his hand, looking at Eren strangely. He was flushed.

“Are you ticklish or something?” Levi asked. Eren’s ears were as bright red as the rest of his face when he nodded. “Sorry ‘bout that.”

“It’s okay,” Eren said. The two of them got back to the lesson, but after that there was an awkward air that Levi didn’t understand. It was an accidental tickle. Eren really didn’t need to make such a damn fuss about it. Whatever the hell it was, it was a relief when Eren had to light a new candle and declared, “It’s getting kinda late, Captain Levi.”

Getting the hint, Levi stood up and stretched.

“Yeah, I’ll teach you the rest some other day,” he agreed. Eren just nodded. Levi grabbed his jacket and left Eren’s room. What with the weird atmosphere in there, he kind of wanted the hell out as fast as possible. In the end, the awkward memory of accidentally tickling Eren and having him act so repulsed by the touch made Levi feel a little sour. It was a few days longer than normal before he managed to approach Eren in the stables.

“Are you free tonight?” he asked. Eren dropped a shovelful of horse shit.

“Yes, I am!” he answered.

“Good,” Levi replied. “I’ll see you then.”

* * *

Now, the _worst_ part about cleaning days was having to deal with the disasters caused by sloppy cleaning. And this one was a doozy.

It was hands down the stupidest fucking injury Levi had ever sustained. He had gotten plenty of gashes from blades, burned his skin on the zip lines of the 3DMG, and suffered countless bruises and bumps from falls and being snagged off course. He’d even suffered that one concussion when his horse had spooked and thrown him off. And that was just in the Survey Corps, not to mention all the scraps he got into in the Underground. But what finally felled him was a teapot.

A fucking _teapot_.

A teapot someone had hastily crammed in a cupboard and shut the door on during their last cleaning day, trapping the projectile to be unleashed on whichever poor bastard opened the cupboard first. And that poor bastard was Levi. He opened the cupboard and felt pain sear through his right wrist as the ceramic pot land on it and smashed on the floor.

“Oooh, that’s broken!” Connie said when he saw the damage to Levi’s arm. There was a gigantic lump on his wrist that sure looked like he’d fucked up his wrist beyond repair.

_“Well fuck, I won’t be playing the harp with Eren any time soon,”_ was the first thought to pop into his head upon hearing the bad news. Second on his mind was how much of a bitch this was going to make the coming cleaning days if the bone had really broken. And,

“Somebody better sweep up those fucking teapot shards before that evil little piece of shit decides to fuck up more people by slicing someone’s foot!”

* * *

A quick trip to the infirmary confirmed that Levi had indeed broken his wrist. Damn. Moblit ended up being the one to prepare the herb mix to pack around his wrist, not to mention set the bone. As he wrapped Levi’s arm, he explained, “Once this hardens it’ll hold your wrist still while the bone knits itself back together.”

Levi’s nose wrinkled. His arm was already feeling itchy and this cast hadn’t been on longer than ten minutes.

“And how long do I have to keep this thing on my wrist?”

“A month and half, maybe two months,” Moblit said thoughtfully.

Fuck, Levi couldn’t wash this arm for _two months_. Would it really be so bad if he left it broken? Levi wasn’t convinced this herb-plaster shit was really worth it. But Moblit was still packing it away.

“Look on the bright side, Captain! You won’t have to do chores for two whole months!” Connie said cheerily, ignoring Levi’s horror. “You might even get extra food rations, too!”

Levi almost wished Connie hadn’t insisted on accompanying him to the infirmary. If Eren were here, he would have probably let him wallow in misery in peace at least. Or Eren would know the right words to make him feel better. He was going to be disappointed when Levi told him that he couldn’t play the harp for a while.

* * *

True enough, at dinnertime when he walked into the mess hall with his newly-hardened plaster/herb cast resting in a sling, heads turned. Gasps rang throughout the hall as everyone caught a glimpse of Humanity’s Strongest in a cast. Worst of all was Eren, who leapt up from his seat and cried out, “Captain! What happened to your arm?”

If Levi’s wrist weren’t aching like a bitch, he probably would have said something wittier than, “I broke it.”

Eren looked horror-stricken. Levi couldn’t blame him, he’d been so excited about learning the harp, not to mention he looked like he was on cloud nine every time Levi came by his room to teach him something new. He could see how this would be a disappointment to Eren. No harp lessons for a while.

He felt compelled to at least say something to Eren later when he was leaving the mess hall, “Sorry ‘bout this—” he raised his broken arm slightly “—but there won’t be any lessons for a while. It’s supposed to take two months for this shitty thing to come off.”

Eren looked horribly disappointed, but what could Levi do? His crappy bone was broken. Maybe he should be drinking more milk. With the extra farmland they’d gained in Northern Maria, farmers were starting to raise cows again. The rations they were getting in the Survey Corps were already a far cry better than what they used to be before people regained hope in their cause.

“Feel better soon, Captain,” Eren said. His hand hovered over Levis’ left shoulder awkwardly, like he’d wanted to pat Levi in sympathy but changed his mind.

“We’ll play the harp again in two months,” Levi said before closing the gap between them and patting Eren’s arm. He looked miserable enough to deserve one. “Moblit thinks that’s how long it’ll take. He ought to know. He’s always cleaning up Hange.”

“All right then,” Eren said sadly. Oddly enough, Levi felt kinda sad too. 


	3. Developing Trust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Without the harp lessons or missions, Levi and Eren attempt to find other ways to keep each other company.

After the first awkward-as-fuck dinner where Levi had to try to feed himself with his left hand without spilling food all over himself, he returned to his bedroom. His damn wrist was hurting and the heaviness of the cast was making his neck hurt. On top of all that, Levi was met by a gigantic fucking stack of papers on his desk.

_Ugh_

Once Levi had sat down at his desk, he couldn’t even look over Paperwork Mountain it was that painfully tall. It was almost a shame he’d broken his dominant hand, because he could have at least used this time to cut through the paperwork. Although he could always initial with his left hand. There was no way he could sleep when his wrist hurt like a bitch and he couldn’t clean or play harp with the cast on, so what else was left?

Hours later, Levi groaned, “Fucking hell! When did I get so much shit to do?”

He’d barely made a dent in the pile of papers during the last few hours. A quick glance at the papers at the bottom of the stack showed that they were a week old. He didn’t usually let crap pile up. Why didn’t he do the paperwork this week?

That was the moment his fingertips decided to twinge. Oh. He must have spent every night playing harp with Eren instead of working. And in the meantime, the work had just kept piling up. Maybe it was a good thing he’d broken his wrist. He could destroy this stack now that he wasn’t seeing Eren every night and maybe learn to spend his evenings more wisely.

* * *

That plan, in hindsight, was utter shit.

It wasn’t just because paperwork was boring as shit _and_ pointless. It was also too quiet. Levi had gotten used to not only the harp always playing, but also Eren’s stories and his questions. Eren was always filling any room he was in with life. Levi was convinced Eren could even make sitting with paperwork bearable. But without him, evenings felt cold and dead now.

The ache left behind in his chest every time he watched Eren walk away from the mess hall knowing that they weren’t going to spend even ten minutes together surprised Levi. But it was there, and it was fucking around with him hard.

That mind-numbing boredom and loneliness prompted him to go to the stables only a few days after he’d broken his wrist when he knew Eren would have stable duty. Another plus to making his way to the stables was being able to see his horse. His mare whinnied when she saw him and Levi’s heart already felt a little lighter. He pulled a few carrots from his pocket for her to nibble on. He petted her nose while she ate.

“Yeah, I missed you too,” he agreed when she head butted him.

“Captain Levi?”

Levi turned around. There was the man he’d come here to see, standing there with a bridle in his hands. And that heavy burden was starting to lift already just seeing him.

“How are you feeling?” Eren asked as he put the bridle away. “How’s your wrist?”

“Still broken.”

Eren laughed before saying, “I know you’re feeling better if you’re joking!”

“Yeah,” Levi agreed. His arm didn’t hurt anymore. It was sweaty and sticky though. Fucking gross. But now wasn’t the time to think about how disgusting his arm was getting. He’d come here with a purpose.

“Eren,” he said. “How would you like to come to my room tonight for a card game?”

There wasn’t much else he could do with a busted wrist, but Levi was pretty sure he could manage a measly game of cards. He just hoped Eren would be up to the task of relieving his boredom.

“Okay!” Eren said, smiling so hard Levi was a little worried his face might split in two. It was actually kinda like his Titan’s face. The smile was just as broad later that night when he knocked on Levi’s door.

“Thanks for inviting me,” Eren said as he entered. His head whipped around. “Where’s everyone else?”

“What do you mean?” Levi asked, closing the door behind Eren. He used his good arm to drag another chair to the desk so Eren could have someplace to sit.

Eren gulped loudly before saying, “Uh, is anyone else playing with us?”

Levi frowned. It hadn’t occurred to him. He’d really only wanted to play with Eren. So he explained, “I only asked you. I didn’t know you wanted a group game.” He took a step toward the door. “I can go get more players.”

“No!” Eren yelped. “I’m fine with just the two of us! I was just asking.”

All right then. That made Levi feel surprisingly happy as he left the door alone and went back to his desk to get a deck of cards out of the drawers.

“You’ll have to shuffle,” he warned Eren as he handed the deck over. “Since my wrist is fucked up.”

Eren sat across from Levi and picked up the deck. Within minutes, Levi had learned a harsh lesson about underestimating his opponent.

“Who taught you to cheat?” he asked. Levi was grateful they were just playing for dessert rations.

“Armin,” Eren admitted. “I wasn’t really going to take your dessert though, sir!”

There was something about that title when they were sitting alone together like this that grated on Levi’s nerves.

“You can can it with that ‘sir’ crap when it’s just us,” Levi decided. Besides, he’d never cared for being elevated above people. It reeked too much of the dirty politics that sent people like his family into the Underground. Plus, he figured he and Eren were close. He’d even dare to call themselves friends. There was no reason for this kind of formality.

“Okay Levi,” Eren said. He was smiling again and a little red-faced.

“Should I open the window?” Levi asked. Eren shook his head ‘no’ but Levi got up and did it anyway. That boy looked like he needed air. He heard the rustle of the cards being shuffled while he opened the window.

When he returned to his seat, Levi remembered, “And don’t think you’re getting your greasy mitts on my dessert, I’m not playing fair anymore.”

After all, Kenny had taught him more than just how to gut a man. He’d taught him all sorts of low tricks, including how to cheat at cards. If only his uncle (still fucking bizarre to think of him that way) knew he’d eventually be using those skills to rob Eren of two weeks’ worth of dessert.

He was probably laughing his ass off in his grave.

* * *

That one card game quickly turned into many, many more. Eren seemed perfectly content to spend a few nights a week playing with Levi. And Levi was more than happy to have an excuse to take a break from shitty Paperwork Mountain (hey, it was starting to come down).

One day, after they’d put down the cards (an equal number of desserts won by each player), they walked down to the kitchens to get something to drink. Levi poured himself a glass of milk, thankfully not spilling any. Two weeks of this broken wrist and he was starting to get better at not fucking things up with his left hand. As Levi turned to put his glass away, Eren stepped forward and Levi stumbled. Then, face-planted straight into Eren’s neck.

“Ouch!” Eren shrieked, clapping a hand to his neck. Levi righted himself awkwardly, the cast still inhibiting him.

“Sorry.”

Eren rubbed his neck as he said, “I think your beard scratched me.”

Levi rubbed a hand over his chin. He hated the scratch that was taking up permanent residence there. But,

“Shaving with my left hand is a bitch,” Levi said. He’d tried. God, how he’d tried to shave. But without his right hand not only did he cut himself constantly, but he’d missed a bunch of patches. He looked like a wild animal had tried to chew his new unsightly beard off. It was pathetic.

Which Hange was all too pleased to remind him continuously about. That jackass.

“Do you want me to shave you?” Eren asked hesitantly. “I shave Connie’s head all the time.”

In all honesty, Levi wasn’t crazy about the idea of _anyone_ holding a knife to his throat. But Eren’s face was always handsomely clean-shaven so he was clearly good at it. And apparently Connie’s nearly-perfect shaved head was the product of Eren’s razor too. Levi was sure Eren wouldn’t cut him. Mikasa, he wouldn’t let anywhere near his throat with a knife, but Eren he could. Plus, if he trusted Eren with this, he’d be clean-shaven again. Levi would take any risk for that.

“That doesn’t sound half bad,” Levi said. “Do you mind doing it now?’

Eren gaped at him. Then he squeaked, “Now is fine!”

The weird tone in his voice made him sound like he wasn’t even old enough to know how to shave. But Levi was getting desperate. This beard was ugly as hell. He led Eren back to his room, let him sit him down, and throw an old sheet around his shoulders. Levi tried to relax while Eren got out the strop. The rasp of the razor being sharpened was kind of calming.

“Your razor is a lot nicer than mine,” Eren commented. He ran a thumb over the sharp edge appreciatively.

“You probably still use the shitty trainee-issued one, that’s why,” Levi said. “I bought a good razor.”

“You’ll have to tell me where to get one,” Eren said as he whipped up the lather.

Levi nodded before falling silent as Eren brushed the lather all over his chin and neck. Eren was quiet as he unfolded the razor and held it near Levi’s throat. Tension in the room rose quickly. Levi tried not to swallow or move as Eren started scraping the edge of the blade along his throat. There was no pain, so at least Eren was off to a good start of not slitting his throat. After shaving the neck, Eren carefully did his chin, the cheeks, and Levi’s upper lip.

Once glance in the mirror when Eren was done and Levi was impressed as hell. Not one single nick, but the facial hair was all gone. Levi could have sung with happiness. Instead, he grabbed the sheet, ready to throw it off and wash his face.

“Wait, let me,” Eren said. He wiped the leftover shaving cream off of Levi’s face carefully. “Where’s your aftershave?”

“I don’t use that shit.”

It seemed like a waste of money. Eren, however, looked horrified.

“Aftershave makes your face look and feel great,” Eren insisted. “Mikasa bought me some for my birthday, it’s really nice. I can go get it for you!”

Levi still wasn’t convinced, but Eren had that excited look on his face again so he let him run off to his room to get the aftershave. He came back with a bottle and poured some liquid on his hands.

“Tilt your head back,” Eren instructed. Levi did. Eren rested his palms on Levi’s cheeks, rubbing the liquid into his face. The feeling of Eren’s warm hands caressing his face made Levi’s heart skip a beat. He was shocked at how good he felt with Eren massaging his face. He shouldn’t have opened his eyes because he saw Eren looking down on him with such a gentle look on his pretty face. Levi didn’t want him to ever stop.

Then, the burn set in.

“Fuck!” he swore and shoved Eren’s hands away. “Why does it burn? What the hell did you do?”

“It always burns for a minute, but then it feels good!” Eren insisted. Levi was pretty sure Eren was actually some kind of masochist. That would explain all the pain he’d willingly suffered fighting the Titans. But even though he’d tried to burn Levi’s face off with aftershave, he’d done a good job. His face felt as smooth as a baby’s ass and there wasn’t a single cut to show for it. Plus the aftershave _did_ kind of make him smell nice. Which was important because he’d had trouble getting a proper shower since he couldn’t get the fucking piece of shit cast wet.

“Good job, Eren,” he made sure to say, admiring himself in the mirror.

“I can shave you until your arm heals!” Eren offered. “It’s the least I can do, since you’ve been teaching me the harp.”

“Please do,” Levi agreed. Eren had done such a good job. He was even cleaning up already. What a heart-warming scene.

“I guess I won’t bring the aftershave back next time,” Eren commented as he tucked the bottle away in his shirt.

“No” was on the tip of Levi’s tongue. He almost said it. Then he remembered that brief, shining moment when Eren had had his hands on Levi’s face and caressed it so lovingly. Levi’s heart jolted again and he realized, with dawning horror, that he had loved the feeling of Eren stroking him. 

“The aftershave is fine, it doesn’t hurt anymore,” he lied. The sting was still there, his whole face was hot actually, but it was insignificant compared to the good feeling of having Eren’s hands touching him like that. He hadn’t wanted Eren to let go, and he’d wanted to stare into Eren’s face forever. It was all coming together: wanting to spend time alone with Eren, liking it when he fussed over him, liking the feeling of Eren stroking him with that soft look on his face. He was so fucked, because there was only one way to describe this feeling.

He was in love. 


	4. Wings of Freedom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi struggles with his new realization that he might love Eren.

Levi had a simple plan on how to deal with the fact that his shitty heart had decided to fall for Eren Jaeger: he wasn’t going to do a goddamned thing.

Eren seemed to enjoy their weird friendship as much as he did. Especially since they’d gotten even closer over the weeks Levi’s wrist had been broken. He eagerly accepted every invitation for card games, kept Levi regaled with tales of what he’d missed on the last mission because of his stupid crappy wrist, and shaved Levi’s face every other day. Levi already felt shitty enough for taking way too much joy in letting Eren massage aftershave into his face with every barber service Eren performed for him. It felt even more wrong to wreck that friendship by vomiting unrequited feelings on Eren.

As long as Eren never figured it out, they could keep being friends. Because Levi didn’t want Eren to feel uncomfortable around him. He’d never once wanted Eren to feel that way, ever since that day in the courtroom when he’d been forced to kick the crap out of him.

So Levi left things alone. He was going to do nothing and act normal dammit. He was going to ignore the hot flash that ran across his face when Eren showed up for their card game carrying the harp.

He lifted the harp slightly and said, “Would you mind if I play the harp for you tonight? I wanna know how I’m doing from the expert.”

That smile was way too fucking bright, how had Levi never noticed before? The blinding brightness made it hard to keep up eye contact with Eren as he answered, “Sounds fine.”

Eren carried the harp inside and sat down. Levi slowly followed him. Eren’s fingers wiggled in the air in a stretch before he set them on the strings. Holy hell. Even without Levi there to teach him, he’d obviously kept up with practicing. Levi was impressed. He’d found time to _perfect_ the one piece Levi had taught him. Eren’s fingers flew over the strings, brow furrowed cutely in concentration. ( _Crap_ , there went his heart squeezing again.)

Ever since Levi had broken his wrist, Eren must have spent every night he wasn’t spending in Levi’s room practicing because, “That was amazing Eren.”

To his surprise, Eren frowned at that. What the fuck?

“Levi, are you okay?” he asked. Then it dawned on him. Levi was a little pissed off about that, he wasn’t some cold, unfeeling machine. He thought Eren knew that. The offense was short-lived, overwhelmed by some kind of sudden cardiac infarction when Eren leaned in close to his face and laid a hand on his forehead.

“You look a little flushed,” Eren murmured. Levi panicked before slapping Eren’s hand away.

“I’ll get the window it’s hot as fucking balls in here,” Levi gasped. He leapt up and threw the window open. He’d hoped the rush of cool air would make his face turn a normal color again. It didn’t.

“I can come a different night if you don’t feel well,” Eren called out after him. That did _not_ help. Being reminded of Eren’s selflessness and care for people only made his face run hotter. Fuck, why was his body doing this to him?

“I feel fine,” Levi insisted. This was all part of the process of learning to act normal around Eren again. Maybe one day his body would quit this crush crap. Until then, he would sit back next to Eren and convince him that he was up to listening to him play the harp.

“Lemme hear it again,” he said. Both to have something to distract him from Eren’s exposed collarbones (shirt unbuttoned from the heat) and to remind himself of more pleasant times with his mother. The music calmed him, and his heart and stomach stopped insisting on performing somersaults.

Once he did, he noticed, “You’re still doing it wrong.”

Levi gestured toward Eren’s hands. “Your plucking is good, but it could be better. You’re probably getting tired as it is.”

“Ah, it’s so hard,” Eren stuttered. “I always forget what you showed me.”

Eren sure was having trouble with that. This was not even remotely close to the first time Levi had had to take Eren’s hand in his to show him the correct plucking. Of course, this was the first time since Levi had realized he’d fallen face-first in love with Eren that he would have to hold his hand.

That was probably why he hesitated before taking Eren’s hand in his. Oh shit. Even though Eren’s hand was dry and covered it calluses, it somehow still felt nice to hold it. The spell over Levi broke a little when he realized how sweaty Eren’s palm was getting. Levi mentally slapped himself before curling Eren’s fingers around awkwardly with his left hand.

“Pluck from the knuckle,” he said. Eren tried feebly but his hand was shaking a little. Levi wondered how the hell Eren could seem more nervous than him, he wasn’t the one holding his crush’s hand.

* * *

The day he could go to Moblit and finally get that fucking cast taken off his wrist topped the list of the happiest moments in Levi’s life.

That was fucking pathetic.

He tried not to think too much about that as Moblit carefully peeled away the plaster from his wrist. As soon as the last of the cast was off Levi quickly walked over to the infirmary sink. He loaded his hands with soap and scrubbed the shit out of his arm, trying to avoid looking at his matted, filthy arm hair. Maybe he'd just shave that off. Or get Eren to do it.

Oh. He realized he had just lost his excuse to get Eren to shave him. How he’d miss having that man shave his face.

“ _Well, there’s worse shit_ ,” Levi thought to himself as he finished scrubbing his arm. He’d lose the shaving, but he got to spend a lot time with Eren anyway. At least he had that. Besides, Levi felt like a creep letting his crush unknowingly massage him. It was probably better that he couldn’t do that anymore.

His thoughts were interrupted by Moblit fretting, "Make sure to take it easy."

That was the exasperated tone of voice he was always using on Hange when they were being unreasonable. Levi tried to listen as he explained, "Your muscles have atrophied and your right arm will be pretty weak."

Moblit suffered enough from the vets not listening to him. Levi decided to go easy on him and said, "Fine."

"Just do gentle exercise. What a normal person would call gentle exercise," Moblit stressed.

Levi would have thought Moblit was getting his panties all tied in a knot over nothing until he tried to open the door with his right hand and could barely twist the knob. All right, he _would_ have to take it easy for a while.

* * *

Getting used to being able to use his right arm again was a bit complicated. He’d stretch out his left hand to do something, remember he could use his right one again, try to use it, and then the two hands would collide awkwardly in the air. Thank fuck everyone was still outside practicing drills and no one had seen that.

The more he started to adjust, the more Levi got excited about finally being able to get shit done again. And shower! The first thing he did after leaving the infirmary was grab his towel and fresh clothes and go to his bathroom for the first proper shower in months. The water hid his tears of joy. No more sponge baths!

It was only once he was clean from head to toe that it hit him: he was going to be able to play the harp with Eren again. That thought was front and center when he headed to the mess hall, hoping he could finally approach Eren and talk about the harp.

It felt fucking amazing to see Eren walking alone to the mess hall and know that this time he could finally ask Eren, after eight long weeks, if he could borrow the harp. When Eren heard Levi call out his name, he beamed brightly. His smile got ten times brighter when Levi waggled his newly-freed fingers.

Damn that smile. Levi felt like he could barely breathe.

“Congratulations!” Eren said. “I’m glad your wrist is all healed up! Took you long enough.”

“We don’t all have super-healing powers,” Levi replied when his brain stopped being stupid. He was pleased that Eren was joking with him. It made him feel like they were closer. “Mind letting me use the harp tonight?”

“I never mind,” Eren said earnestly. That was Eren’s problem. He never minded anyone asking anything of him. (Unless it was Jean.) That was no way to live, constantly burdened by other people’s demands and whims.

“You need to be more selfish sometimes,” Levi said. Eren looked confused, but he didn’t get a chance to ask Levi what he meant because loud shouts of “Captain, your cast is gone!” echoed through the hallway. The others had caught up to them. Levi soon found himself surrounded by a crowd of well-wishers and when he looked around again, Eren had disappeared.

* * *

Hopefully that weird disappearance from dinner didn’t mean that Eren wasn’t up to entertaining tonight. Levi went to Eren’s room anyway because he really did want to see him. Plus there was the chance to use the harp. Even though Levi’s wrist was weak as hell he was itching to get his hands back on that thing.

Eren opened the door with his usual smile. A good sign, even if he was a bit quiet when he listened to Levi warming up with scales. His wrist got tired _fast_ but he kept at it. It was just too soothing to be at the harp and playing again. It reminded him of his first teacher.

When Levi’s fingers stilled, Eren finally spoke up again. He asked, “If you don’t mind my asking Levi, where did you learn to the play the harp?”

Of course he would ask eventually. In fact, he already had and Levi had deflected it before. Tempting as it was to deflect again, Eren looked so interested in the information that Levi kinda wanted to tell him. It didn’t help his desire to tell him that he knew Eren would be pleased if he did. Levi found himself having a hard time saying no when he knew he could make Eren happy. At the same time, this was one of the most painful moments of his life and he wasn’t sure he could divulge it.

Because the thing was, Levi had trusted Eren as a comrade since he’d first visited him in the prison cell under the courthouse and Eren had so passionately declared that he would join the Survey Corps to kill every last titan. That didn’t mean Levi was comfortable vomiting out his feelings and secrets to him. Or to anyone. That was something only Kuchel and an old neighbor had managed to do. But Eren hadn’t blabbed to anyone about Levi being able to play the harp, and Levi had grown to trust Eren so much as a person both before and after he’d been injured. That damn love thing didn’t help in keeping back feeling more and more trust toward Eren. He could probably be trusted with this other secret as well.

That didn’t mean it was completely easy to start off his story with, “When I still lived in the Underground, my mother’s neighbor taught me. She used to be the courtesan of some noble pig until she got pregnant, then he cast her and the baby into the Underground. Somehow she managed to get her harp down there. For a little spare cash, she’d play it in brothels,” Levi explained. It was harder to finish the story. “She watched me sometimes while my mother worked. That’s where I learned.”

And on nights when Kenny had drunk too much to impart any more of his horrible lessons on Levi, he’d gone back to his mother’s old house to speak to the neighbor who was the only other person in the world to remember Kuchel besides her son and her brother. On those painful nights, she’d let him borrow her old harp to pluck the strings until he couldn’t think anymore. Levi had visited her for lessons until he’d ended up in the Survey Corps.

After Historia’s coronation he’d tried to find her, but the refugees who’d emerged from the Underground hadn’t included his old neighbor. No one remembered who she was and Levi could only conclude she had died alone with no one to remember her by, just like his mother.

“She must have been a good teacher, you’re really good Levi,” Eren said quietly. “Is there anything you’re not good at?”

“Dancing,” Levi answered honestly. Eren looked surprised. “I’m not graceful.”

“You are with the gear.”

That was the only thing he was particularly graceful with, he’d give Eren that. He awkwardly said, “Thank you, Eren.”

Silence descended on them. Eren cleared his throat before holding his hands out. “Can I borrow the harp?”

Levi handed it over.

“I wrote a song,” Eren confessed. “It doesn’t have a title yet, but I was thinking the Wings of Freedom.”

“Is it about the Survey Corps?” Levi asked. Eren shook his head.

“It’s about you,” Eren said. Levi felt his face getting all red again as Eren began to sing. (Goddamn this crush and Eren’s lovely voice.) He hoped this wouldn’t be some hero worship song about slaying Titans, he’d never liked that.

It was much worse.

The song had nothing to do with Titans and if Levi hadn’t known better, he’d almost think it was a love song. As Eren kept singing, eyes boring into Levi’s, it became very, very obvious that maybe that was exactly what the song was about. Levi was frozen in his seat, held in place by Eren’s eyes. The blood rushing through his ears blocked out a lot of the words—he could tell it was beautiful though—but Levi managed to get the picture loud and clear.

Still, Levi didn’t want to make the wrong move here. Eren having a crush on him, _returning his feelings_ , felt too good to be true. So he asked, “Do you like me?”

Eren gaped at him. Fuck, did he misunderstand?

“That was kinda the whole point of the song. I’m trying to serenade you,” Eren said. He turned pink. “Did you not like it?”

“I liked it,” Levi said. He had. Even if he’d been too panicky to hear the whole thing. “But why?”

“Because I wanna court you,” Eren blurted out. “I have for a long time, but I didn’t think you felt the same way so I didn’t wanna say anything. But then you started spending all that time with me and we were having fun together. Plus you started blushing when we’re together and when I shave you. I’d hoped that maybe that meant that you liked me too. And then you told me to be more selfish, so that’s what I’m doing.”

Levi was dumbfounded. Well, his plan to not let Eren realize he was in love with him was a spectacular failure. A good failure because _Eren was confessing his love to him_. Levi’s face heated up again as he stuttered, “Courting sounds fine. Good.”

Eren slumped over in his chair. “Oh thank God,” he gasped. “It would have really blowed if you didn’t feel the same way!”

“That’s why _I_ wasn’t going to say anything,” Levi said. The mood in the room brightened. He found himself grinning like an idiot. Eren was grinning too, they were wearing matching idiotic smiles.

Eren was the first one brave enough to ask, “Friday evening when weekend leave starts would you like it if we went for a ride? Now that your arm is healed? We can pack a dinner and go to the lake.”

“That sounds good,” Levi said. He could imagine it now. Maybe he’d even find enough courage to hold Eren’s hand with no pretense while they watched the sun set over the lake. “We can take the gear too. I need to practice I’m probably shit after six weeks of not using it.”

Eren smiled. “I’m glad. It’ll be great.”

Levi couldn’t agree more. Friday couldn’t come soon enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ereri week was fun! I hope you guys all enjoyed it.


End file.
